Good News!

- Melissa Wilson is pregnant and is going to have a BOY!
- Alicia Woodbury is pregnant and is due November 23rd!
-Keri Shurtliff got a job at BYU Independent Study for the summer.
-Marin Heywood had her baby girl.
-Keri Dockter is going to be moving into a house this summer!

Are You Ready to Be a Mother? Joke Test

Mess Test: Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flower bed and then rub
on the walls. Cover the stains with crayon. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.

Toy Test: Obtain a 55-gallon drum of LEGOs® (if LEGOs are not available, you may substitute roofing tacks). Have
a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. If you step on
one do not scream – this could wake a child at night.

Grocery Store Test: Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop at the
grocery store. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.

Feeding Test: Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a stout cord.
Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal (such as Fruit Loops or Cheerios) into the mouth of
the jug, while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor.

Night Test: Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with eight to 12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly
in water. At 8pm begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9pm. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10pm.
Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these
until 4am. Set alarm for 5am. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for five years. Look cheerful.

Final Assignment: Find a couple who already have a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their
discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training, and child’s table manners. Emphasize to them that they should
never allow their children to run wild. Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you will have all the answers.

May Activity

Come learn how to GARDEN for our May RS activity!

Thursday, May 19 @ 7:00pm in the quad